Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday Feb. 25, 2009 Matt 6: 1-6, 16-21 The Rev. Benton Quest

What are you doing here! How can you consider yourselves good Americans and be sitting in this church on this day of all days! Quick! Before anyone notices, leave!

In America, we are the society of staying alive. We are the society of staying young. We do all kinds of things to deny the fact that we are going to die. We work out. We have face-lifts. We go to the tanning booth. We dye our hair. The thought of death is something we in America try to avoid. We want to hear sermons that are uplifting and make us feel good. Frankly, I like to preach sermons that are uplifting and make people feel good.

But on Ash Wednesday, preaching the uplifting sermon is a little difficult. I read one commentator who said that Ash Wednesday is the most uncomfortable day of the church year. It is a day that we try to avoid. The service is not happy. The songs tend to be in minor keys. We leave the church with a big black mark on our heads. That black mark reminds us, and all those who see us, that no matter how hard we try to avoid death, eventually this body will give out.

The whole point is that on Ash Wednesday, we have to face our own death, and let’s be honest; facing our own death is not very pleasant. As I said before, we live in a world that is into denying that death even exists. As such, to proclaim that “You are dust and to dust you shall return” is a subversive act. We are going against everything the advertisers are trying to tell us.

Ash Wednesday causes us distress because it rubs our face in our mortality. In our observation of Ash Wednesday, we come face to face with our sin and with our death. And this is not just our physical death, although that is difficult enough to deal with. But we also have to deal with how our sin, our forgetting that we are created in God’s image, has brought death to the joy that could be in our lives: The joy that Jesus came to bring to our lives.

Another thing we are forced to do on Ash Wednesday is to look squarely at our limitations. We live in the Lone Ranger, I-can-do-it-all-alone, kind of world. In our society of today, it is not respectable to need help. Yet Ash Wednesday reminds us that when left to our own devices, we can give up self-will as easily as we can give up death. When we choose our will over the will of God, when we choose things over people, when we refuse to be the wonderful creations which God has made us to be, it is at that time that death has already cast a shadow over our lives.

Then finally on this day, this Ash Wednesday, we are asked to repent, literally to turn around and head back to God. We don’t like to think about repentance because to turn around means that we are headed in the wrong direction. To turn around means that we are doing is not OK, what we are doing is NOT WORKING. To have this made obvious and place in as a large black mark on our forehead is uncomfortable to us but unfortunately, that is the point of the day.

Actually, the point of Ash Wednesday is not to make us feel bad, not to make us feel no good, not even to make us feel guilty! The point of Ash Wednesday is to help us to realize that we cannot make a go of life alone. That to truly live life we must rely on God. We must turn our hearts over to God. We must live our lives for God.

In our readings for today we hear of God’s expectations for us, God’s followers. God doesn’t want us just to make just a show of repentance; God wants more. God wants us: heart and soul, mind and body. God wants us to look beyond what is here before us and look to what is more important, more enduring.

It is in the realization that we are mortal that we begin to touch the immortal. It is in gaining a fuller understanding of those things which are finite, that we can begin to understand infinity. It is in knowing that our life will come to an end that we can begin to understand what it means to have eternal life. When we look at a dear loved one, we know that that person will eventually die. We know that the body that we see before us will eventually cease to function. We know that that person is mortal. However, we also know that the love that is shared between you and your loved ones will never die. Because Christ has loved us, our love will continue. We can hold our loved ones in our memory and when the great day arrives, the day of the reign of God, we can again hold them in our arms. It is in realizing the mortality of the person that we can look beyond and grasp the immortal.

Ash Wednesday reminds us that we are indeed mortal. It reminds us that all we see must come to an end. It reminds us to be aware of what is around us. The prophet Joel tells us to change our way of living. He says to rend our hearts, not our clothing. We are to change our whole way of being, not just make superficial gestures. We are to return to the Lord.

This is our call during this time of Lent; this is our call on this, the most uncomfortable day of the church year. Christ is here, calling us, calling us from beyond the grave. Calling us to turn around, turn back from the ways of the world. Calling us to turn around and follow him. It is only through him that we can find our righteousness. It is only through him that we can find our life.

Well, you didn’t leave. You stayed. That is good. I can’t guarantee an easy journey through Lent, but there is one thing I can guarantee: That even though there may be much talk about death and the tomb, when we get to the end, we won’t find the tomb full. We will find the tomb empty and the risen Christ waiting to greet us.

Transfiguration Sunday

Mark 9:2-9

You know, there is a new disease going around? It is known as SAD.

Many of you are probably thinking, “SAD? What is so new about that? Isn’t SAD the disorder where the sufferer is irritable, distracted, edgy, and often depressed? New? Isn’t it that disorder that is highly prevalent in the north at this time of year? Well, yes, you would be right if I were talking about SAD as in Seasonal Affective Disorder. But I am not talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder; I am talking about another disease, this disease also has the initials of SAD, but in this case they refer to Spiritual Affective Disorder.

Why these two diseases get confusing is because they both have the same symptoms. The person with Spiritual Affective Disorder will also feel irritable, distracted and edgy. The person with Spiritual Affective Disorder may also feel depressed. And like Seasonal Affective Disorder, Spiritual Affective Disorder is also highly prevalent in society.

Now another thing that is really interesting about these two disorders is that they are treated in almost the same way. In Seasonal Affective Disorder, the person must stay out in the light of the sun – that would be S-U-N – to get better. When the person gets enough light, then the person begins to feel better and has a generally better outlook on life. To treat Spiritual Affective Disorder, the person must stay in the light of the Son – that would be S-O-N. By staying in the light of the Son, the person gains a radically different outlook on life. When people are in the light of the Son, their whole lives are changed.

In today’s gospel reading, we have a case study for the successful treatment of Spiritual Affective Disorder. Previous to our reading, we have the situation where Peter is having trouble. Jesus is explaining to the disciples how he, Jesus, was going to have to suffer and die. After hearing this, we see that Peter begins to exhibit the key symptoms of Spiritual Affective Disorder. Peter gets irritated with Jesus. Peter acts impulsively. Peter seems very edgy. Peter is defensive and tries to tell Jesus that the plans are all wrong. And if we remember the story, it is at this point Jesus rebuked Peter.

I don’t know if you noticed this before, but Jesus is a very good psychologist. And being a very good psychologist, Jesus knows exactly what Peter is suffering from. Of course! Peter is suffering from Spiritual Affective Disorder! And since Jesus is a very good psychologist, in fact the best psychologist that ever was or ever will be, Jesus knows exactly what Peter needs! That’s right! Peter is suffering from Spiritual Affective Disorder. So therefore, what Peter needs is a good dose of light from the SON!

So Jesus takes Peter, James, and John, three of the original disciples, (Andrew must have been out gathering more people!) up onto a mountain. And while they were on the mountain, Jesus was transfigured. Jesus was made to shine brighter than the sun – that would be sun, S-U-N! And we can see from Peter’s response that this light from Jesus was enough to do the trick: Peter is cured! Peter goes from being defensive and edgy to being happy and rejoicing! Peter is totally changed. Peter is so eager to celebrate this moment that he wants to live on top of the mountain.

But just as with Seasonal Affective Disorder, there is a downside to the treatment of Spiritual Affective Disorder: for neither disorder is the cure permanent. In Seasonal Affective Disorder, the person needs continual light. The longer a person stays out of the light, the worse symptoms become. The same holds true for Spiritual Affective disorder: The longer we stay away from the light of the SON, the worse things in our life can look. The longer we close our lives to the light of Christ, the worse things tend to look.

I think one of the things that makes Spiritual Affective Disorder so SAD is that when we get it, although we may look for light, we often do not look for the right kind of light. What is unfortunate is that with both of these disorders, the wrong kind of light can be bad for us.

I know that sometimes about this time of year, I can feel a little bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder setting in. In trying to help myself feel better, I have tried going to a tanning bed to get some really concentrated light. What is unfortunate was not the kind of light I needed. I needed some natural sunlight, not the overly intense light of the tanning bed. Granted, the light did feel good, but it was not the right kind of light. Unfortunately, in the end, I usually ended up getting burned.

When we are dealing with Spiritual Affective Disorder, quite often the same thing happens; we go off looking for a way to light our lives but go after the wrong kind of light. We neglect the true source of light and go looking for other sources. And as with the tanning bed, these other sources usually end up burning us. We may look for that light in other people, but other people will let us down. We may look for that light in alcohol, but alcohol will leave us in a deeper hole than when we started. We may look for light in honor and respect, but honor and respect only last as long as peoples’ memories. These things may seem like sources of light, and granted, they feel good when they are there. But when we search out these things to lift our Spiritual Affective Disorder, what we end up feeling is burned. We go looking for light, but like Peter, James, and John, the light we need is right in front of us!

This is the wonder of the Transfiguration; the glory of Jesus was shown to the disciples, but that glory is for us too. This was not some future glory for Peter; this was glory that was right then. Peter goes a little crazy when he sees the glory of Jesus, but then he again sees the light of Jesus and finds his bearings. It is also the same for us; this is glory for us NOW. When we lose our bearings, we can look to the light of Christ and find our way.

Now, the light of Christ does not go away from us, but often we turn away from the light. And when we turn away, we again find ourselves in the dark and searching. God says that the disciples are to listen to Jesus, but eventually they forget. Even Peter, who saw the light directly, returns to his fear. And when Peter’s fear returns, he too looks for a light elsewhere. Peter becomes afraid and fears for his safety. Yes, this is another false and dangerous light: safety. Peter denies knowing Jesus because he feared for his safety. If others knew Peter was a follower of Jesus, Peter was afraid that he too might be killed. Instead of staying strong in the light and faith in Christ, Peter seeks out the false light of safety, and ends up getting burned.

The true light of Jesus does not burn us. The light of Jesus, it does not blind us. Even though we are told that Jesus’ garments shown like the sun, the disciples were dazzled, but not blinded. The light of Jesus actually helps us to see the world more clearly. Peter was moved by the wonder of the light, but he was not blinded.

Now, there is one thing that is very different about Spiritual Affective Disorder. In Seasonal Affective Disorder, the light makes us feel better, and that is about it. But when we follow Jesus, the light that we experience transforms us. Peter, James, and John were transformed by being in light of the transfiguration. I don’t think they realized it at the time it was happening, but their experience provided a base from which they could later preach, teach, and evangelize. The story of the transfiguration provides us with a base also. Again we hear the voice of God speaking: “This is my Son, my beloved. Listen to him.” It is this Son, the Son of God, that lights our way and transforms our lives.

The one thing that I find sad about Spiritual Affective Disorder is the fact that we don’t have to suffer from it! Jesus wants us to follow him and to follow his light. Jesus gives us spouses, parents, friends, and congregations to guide us. The light that we truly need is right here, it hasn’t gone away! But still we go searching for light elsewhere. Like Peter, we lose our light and become irritable and edgy. And we may go searching for the light out in the world. But we need to remember that we have the light in our baptism. We share the light when we gather as the community of St. Swithin’s. We are strengthened by the light when we gather around the altar. And we then take the light of Christ out and share the light with the world.

Epiphany 6, Year B

Sixth Sunday After Epiphany Year B Mark 1:40-45 February 15, 2009 The Rev. Benton Quest

I think we have a theme going on in our gospel readings of late. Pretty simple: Jesus goes someplace; heals someone; word gets out that there is healing going on; people come to get healed; and Jesus runs away. It’s kind of nice when you first look at it. Jesus is healing people and that seems like a nice thing. But then Jesus high-tails it off to the wilderness just when others show up for help. It is at this point that I get a little angry. It is kind of like those Christmas “Door Buster” sales: The stores promise you a great deal, but by the time you get there, the deal is gone! That is SO frustrating! And I am sure the people who were coming out to find Jesus for healing were feeling pretty frustrated also.

Why didn’t Jesus just hang around and heal the people? Wouldn’t that be a good way to attract followers? It would be kind of like giving them a free coupon or something. Heal them and then they stick around! Makes great marketing sense to me! So if it is such a good idea, why doesn’t Jesus do it?

When I think about this whole situation, I remember what a piano teacher once said to me. I love the Bach Two-Part Inventions and really wanted to learn how to play them. My teacher kept telling me that I needed to practice! He said that the only way to truly own the pieces was by practicing. He then said that even if he had pill that would allow me to play the Two-Part Inventions, he would not give it to me. The commitment to practice and the discipline of practice would give the music its fullness and richness that would never be there if it were just bestowed. I think we can hear that is some synthesized music. It is perfect in timing and intonation but it sounds flat; it is lacking depth and nuance. It is lacking life.

Now I cannot prove this, but I think Jesus’ method of “Hit-and-Run” healings is an attempt to not just bestow some kind of synthesized faith on the people. Jesus did not want his followers to have a flat, dead, faith; he wanted them to have a rich, full, living faith. I believe Jesus could have had the people form two lines and just run down the middle, high-fiving them all and curing them all. Or if that were too strenuous, then he could have just waved his hand or something and cured them. But what would that have given them? They would have been cured, but would they have a deep and enduring faith?

From Biblical times until today, people haven’t changed much. We still want an instant cure to whatever ails us. All we have to do is turn on the television and find all kinds of devices and gadgets to give us what we want instantly. We can get instant weight loss. Instant credit. Instantly wonderful children. Instant language acquisition. Instant relief of pain. Find instant love. No, we really haven’t changed. Whatever we want, there is someone on TV telling us how to get it instantly. The problem with all of these “instant” methods is that they give us what we want, but usually we are not emotionally ready to properly use the gift.

I am sure we are all aware of people who have used fad diets to lose a ton of weight, just to gain it all back. We have all also heard stories of people who have won the lottery, just to spend it all foolishly and end up poorer than before they started. And there is a reason why drivers’ licenses are withheld until kid are 16 years old. A gift that is given when the person is not ready to receive it can be dangerous.

I think Jesus did a “drive-by” healing but then left when the crowds would show up was that those who were streaming in to be healed were not yet ready to be healed. Jesus presented the people with a goal, to be healed, but the people were not yet ready to receive it. Kind of like promising a kid a new car when had gotten his license and has show that he is responsible to drive. The gift of the car is still a free gift; it is just that the gift would be dangerous if the child were not ready for it. And a good parent is going to not give the gift until the child is ready.

Now, I know I am moving out into the land of thin ice, here. Too often we interchange the meanings of “being ready” and “earning.” What I am talking about here is not earning. We do not earn the loving gifts of God. If we had to earn God’s gifts, then they would not be gifts at all, they would be payment. The paycheck I get for making coffee is not a gift, I did something and I am getting paid for it. I earned that paycheck. However, the love we find in our lives, that is a gift. As we mature, we recognize more and more that we are surrounded by love. We gain the maturity to treat that love with respect and care. We gain the maturity to not abuse that gift we have been given. In my own life, it seemed that love would never find me, but as I matured, I found that love was there. It was not something that I earned, it was something that I grew to understand.

We don’t know why Jesus chose to heal the people he healed and to avoid those he avoided. Our faith leads us to believe that Jesus would do what is in the best interest of us all. I am sure that if it were for the best interest of the crowds following Jesus, he would have healed them all. He could have healed them all. That Jesus chose to not heal the people must lead us to believe that it was not in the best interest of the people to be healed at that time. Here is where it can get confusing. I am not saying that the people who were healed were any better, or the people who were not healed were any worse. What we must assume is that it was not the proper time for this to happen.

I think this may be one of the hardest things for us to learn. We need to keep looking for Jesus and following Jesus, but if we are not finding the miraculous, that does not mean we have been abandoned or that we are bad. It means that in the infinite wisdom of our Savior, the time is not right. We need to trust that the one who gave his life for us looking out for our best interest. We need to trust that the gift has not been withdrawn, but is being held until the time is right.

As people, we want the easy way. I know I really wanted to pill to allow me to play the two-part inventions. But if you think about it, there is really only one time in our lives where our every need is anticipated and everything is given to us. That would be when we are babies. If we were to be given everything we wanted when we wanted, we would never grow and mature. We would never mature to understand the fullness and depth of life. If every time we asked for something in prayer and it would just appear, we would develop a flat, lifeless, Santa Clause kind of faith. I would hope we can see that there are times when God withholding what we ask for in prayer is, in fact, a gift.

We have a loving and concerned Savior. We have a “hands on” kind of God. We have a loving parent that may not give us everything we want, but will definitely give us what we need to grow to our fullest faith potential. Our task is to continue to seek our Lord, and to trust that we will be given what we need for the journey.

Epiphany 5 B

Epiphany 5 year B

Mark 1:29-39

I’ll tell you, this week’s gospel reading really has me thinking. When we pair it with last week’s reading, it presents a challenge and a dilemma.
What we have in this week’s reading is Jesus in the home of Simon. When he gets there, he finds that Simon’s mother-in-law is sick and goes to heal her. Last week we had Jesus healing the man possessed by demons. Whether out and about or in the privacy of someone’s home, Jesus is doing what Jesus does. Jesus does not have one persona in public and another in private. And it is here that the challenge and the dilemma come into play.
The actions of Jesus challenge us to live our faith “out loud.” The way Jesus went about his life did not leave any room for questions. From the moment he was baptized, the world became aware that this man was different than what had come before. When Jesus cast out the demons in the story we heard last week, we can assume that did it out in the open because everyone was talking about it. And in today’s reading, Jesus heals Simon’s mother-in-law, in the quite of her home. Jesus doesn’t drag her out into the street to get more notoriety, he just simply heals her.
But the dilemma comes with the way I was raised and with the way many of us in main-line denominations were raised: If you are like me, you were raised to not draw a whole lot of attention to yourself. And you were also raised to not bring up religion in “polite” company. It was the whole “Religion and Politics” thing; these were just topics that were not discussed. But in the gospel lessons of the past two weeks, we have Jesus not only talking about religion and politics in public, but living religion and politics. And not only living it, but also unapologetically living it. This kind of thing just makes the skin of this Roman Catholic raised boy crawl!
Now, another thing that makes my skin crawl is this whole living our faith “out loud” that Jesus is showing us. I have had many occasions of being cornered by people who were “Evangelizing.” I want to set this type of evangelization apart because I think it is what comes our mind when we think of evangelization and, if you are like me, just the mention of the word is scary. I had been backed into a corner and told that I was damned to Hell (and I’m not talking about Hell, MI here!) if I didn’t accept Jesus. I had been trapped in an airplane, stuck between the window and the person who was bound and determined to save my soul, for over four hours. I’ve been told that if I don’t speak in tongues, then God really has not saved me. So when I think of “Evangelization,” these are the thoughts that go through my mind. And the thought of living my faith “out loud” can be mighty scary.
So, how can we work to create a life where our faith is as integral a part of us as our hair color? How can we create a life where our faith is as apparent as our eye color? How can we create a life where we can witness to our faith without the need to shove it into people’s faces? This is the challenge AND the dilemma of our gospel reading.
When I hear the word “Evangelism, ” or hear of a faith being “Evangelistic,” what comes to my mind are what could be referred to as “Pentecostal Pep Rallies.” Now, this kind of worship may be fine for some people, I just find them uncomfortable. I don’t think that this means I have any less faith than the Pentecostal folks, it just means that I have a different way of expressing my faith. Neither way is right or wrong, they are just different.
But the unfortunate thing is that when it comes to living our faith in the world, the usual example we call to mind is that of people similar to the person who had me trapped on the plane. Again, though, growing up in a mainline denomination, this “in your face” kind of evangelizing was not for me. I found it annoying and didn’t want to be annoying to others.
So again here is the dilemma: We have the example of Jesus living his faith “out loud” in the world. We have Jesus living his faith “out loud” around his friends. We have this example of Jesus fully living his faith in all he did. We are told that we are to follow our Savior and live as he lived. But for the life of me, I cannot be like the other Evangelicals that I see.
Now it would be nice if we could just be left off the hook. Since how society defines evangelism is really not the Episcopalian way, then we just don’t have to do it. We will leave that for others.
Unfortunately, that is not the way it goes. Jesus calls each one of us. Jesus calls you and me to be out spreading the word of love and forgiveness to a hurting world. Jesus calls us each to the table and then sends us out. Jesus calls us! And that is what we need to remember.
It didn’t matter where Jesus was or whom he was with. Jesus was authentically himself. He healed in the temple because that is what needed to happen. He healed in Simon’s home because that is what needed to happen. He did what he needed to do, and he did it in the way that only he could do.
Likewise, we each are called to be authentically ourselves. If you find the “Pentecostal Pep Rally” uncomfortable, that is ok. Your way of spreading the news of God’s love will be low-key. If you enjoy and are moved by loud and boisterous worship, that is ok too! There are people out there that you will reach. We each have our own way of spreading the gospel to the world. The important thing is that we get out there and do it! As there are all kinds of people, there are all kinds of way to spread the message. What works for some will may not necessarily work for others. And that is ok, that is the way it should be.
Jesus did not let the social conventions of the time get in his way. He taught, preached, and healed. He lived the love of God and showed that love to the world. And he calls us to be out in the world. We are to reach out in our way. We reach out through things like making prayer shawls. We reach out when we bring food for those in need. We reach out when we smile instead of getting angry. And we reach out when we use our skills and talents to ease the burdens of those around us.
We each have our way of reaching out, and God can use us to be God’s hands and heart in the world. We just need to be willing to move beyond ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable to the working of God.
This is the challenge of being a Christian. To be so aware of the love we find in Christ flowing through our lives that others can’t help but see this love and want to find it for themselves. This is not some lofty goal, it is highly attainable. We are called to this by Jesus, and Jesus will be there to help us through.